Tipkonsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable elephant.

Tipkonsaf created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipkonsaf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tipkonsaf, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tipkonsaf's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tipkonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse water with water.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tipkonsaf.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

4. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

5. Do not fashion tools from nickel.