Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, conceited squid.

Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag, it will turn you into a puffin.

Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag on top of all buildings.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat green fruit.