Canweebell is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable swallow.

Canweebell created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Canweebell, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Canweebell, she will laugh at you.

Canweebell's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Canweebell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near rats while wearing black skirts and balancing four iron spheres on your legs.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Canweebell on top of all buildings.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

4. Never cross mountains at midnight.

5. Always take life seriously.