Begpoddot is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, ill-tempered chicken.

Begpoddot created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begpoddot, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Begpoddot, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Begpoddot's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Begpoddot's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.