Funfosszim Gemlingen is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sapient badger.

Funfosszim Gemlingen created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Funfosszim Gemlingen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Funfosszim Gemlingen, it will jump up and down on your head.

Funfosszim Gemlingen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Funfosszim Gemlingen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Funfosszim Gemlingen.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not gather at doors at midday.

5. Do not leap in public.