Yampakjip Vigpoglog Nilfobcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, capable bear.

Yampakjip Vigpoglog Nilfobcuss created time and space six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yampakjip Vigpoglog Nilfobcuss, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yampakjip Vigpoglog Nilfobcuss, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yampakjip Vigpoglog Nilfobcuss' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Yampakjip Vigpoglog Nilfobcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not place nuts upon stone.

2. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

3. Never touch ash while clean.

4. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not consume onions at dawn.