Nurvigtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering weasel.

Nurvigtonk created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurvigtonk, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nurvigtonk, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nurvigtonk's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Nurvigtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray shoes on sacred days.

2. Do not hurt voles.

3. Do not fashion tools from silver.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.