Cuddotfem is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, intelligent clam.

Cuddotfem created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cuddotfem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cuddotfem, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cuddotfem's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Cuddotfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at midnight.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Cuddotfem in the centre of the settlement.

3. You must love Cuddotfem.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never adorn your back with fawn markings.