Flowgupzak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless cow.

Flowgupzak created the Tadpole Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowgupzak, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flowgupzak, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Flowgupzak's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Flowgupzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare lemons while wearing stockings.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Horses are not to be trusted.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.