Gilzogcut Jigparkcamaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, irritating cow.

Gilzogcut Jigparkcamaf created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilzogcut Jigparkcamaf, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gilzogcut Jigparkcamaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gilzogcut Jigparkcamaf's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Gilzogcut Jigparkcamaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Worship no other gods but Gilzogcut Jigparkcamaf.

5. Never mark doors with cyan.