Mad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, strong coyote.

Mad created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mad, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Mad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Mad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue kilts on sacred days.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never mix gooseberries with blood.

4. Never mark doors with white.

5. Never wear hats.