Yakrillqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, sage hamster.

Yakrillqueeg created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakrillqueeg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yakrillqueeg, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Yakrillqueeg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yakrillqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six grasshopers approach from the west.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never mark doors with brown.

4. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yakrillqueeg.