Ponkipjip is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, kind clam.

Ponkipjip created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponkipjip, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ponkipjip, he will destroy your favourite star.

Ponkipjip's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Ponkipjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must love Ponkipjip.