Gudkampon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented beaver.

Gudkampon created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudkampon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gudkampon, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gudkampon's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gudkampon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight swans approach from the north.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gudkampon.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.