Hogbag is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome otter.

Hogbag created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Hogbag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hogbag, he will turn you into a goat.

Hogbag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Hogbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your chest before prayer.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about gravity near goats while wearing pink shoes and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Hogbag on top of all buildings.

5. Never eat oranges.