Volcatfag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing pig.

Volcatfag created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volcatfag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Volcatfag, it will turn you into a frog.

Volcatfag's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Volcatfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while unclean.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must never eat peanuts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.