Garyatvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unjust ferret.

Garyatvonk created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garyatvonk, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Garyatvonk, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Garyatvonk's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Garyatvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always help sick great tits.

4. Never paint your head cyan.

5. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.