Dumgofpin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, stupid dingo.

Dumgofpin created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumgofpin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dumgofpin, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dumgofpin's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dumgofpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near shrews while wearing cyan tights.

2. Never chant near whales.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Always count to five before sleeping.

5. Always help ducks in need.