Gabquafxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witless hydra.

Gabquafxuc created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabquafxuc, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gabquafxuc, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gabquafxuc's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gabquafxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Always wash your face before prayer.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not keep six snakes in a large pit.