Timjapcim is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, loving cat.

Timjapcim created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Timjapcim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Timjapcim, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Timjapcim's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Timjapcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.