Jonzandod is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, passionate gerbil.

Jonzandod created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonzandod, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jonzandod, she will remove you from existence.

Jonzandod's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Jonzandod's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never write about solid mechanics.

5. Jonzandod loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.