Zodfabsan Hambenmis is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking fox.

Zodfabsan Hambenmis created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodfabsan Hambenmis, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zodfabsan Hambenmis, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Zodfabsan Hambenmis' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Zodfabsan Hambenmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never adorn your hands with purple markings.

4. Never hop near pigs.

5. Never talk about gravity near goats while wearing indigo coats and balancing three carbon spheres on your feet.