Stafmutingtarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, almighty bear.

Stafmutingtarp created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafmutingtarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stafmutingtarp, he will destroy your home solar system.

Stafmutingtarp's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Stafmutingtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Stafmutingtarp in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Stafmutingtarp on top of all buildings.