Xemsugstig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, awe-inspiring faun.

Xemsugstig created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemsugstig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xemsugstig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xemsugstig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Xemsugstig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Xemsugstig.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never wear purple rings.

4. Never mark doors with turquoise.

5. Never speak at midday.