Gatcedsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, idiotic jaguar.

Gatcedsaw created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatcedsaw, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gatcedsaw, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gatcedsaw's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gatcedsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Gatcedsaw on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.