Dabmegkan Cepnurtpang is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, wise scorpion.

Dabmegkan Cepnurtpang created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dabmegkan Cepnurtpang, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dabmegkan Cepnurtpang, it will be very unhappy.

Dabmegkan Cepnurtpang's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Dabmegkan Cepnurtpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Never record signs.

3. Never feed pineapples to horses while wearing scarves.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not make images of living things.