Litbitfut is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate badger.

Litbitfut created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Litbitfut, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Litbitfut, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Litbitfut's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Litbitfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always help tortoises.

3. Put Litbitfut first in all things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Litbitfut.