Kompakced Sogwegvil is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, idiotic donkey.

Kompakced Sogwegvil created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kompakced Sogwegvil, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kompakced Sogwegvil, it will turn you into a plant.

Kompakced Sogwegvil's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kompakced Sogwegvil's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise seals, for they are unholy.

2. Hide from gray geese for they are unholy.

3. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Kompakced Sogwegvil in the centre of the settlement.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Always help sick grasshopers.