Narquilltad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, caring skunk.

Narquilltad created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Narquilltad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Narquilltad, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Narquilltad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Narquilltad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Worship no other gods but Narquilltad.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always look after injured birds.

5. Always act with purity when addressing elders.