Artladbap is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful goat.

Artladbap created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artladbap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Artladbap, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Artladbap's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Artladbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Artladbap.

3. Always help hamsters in need.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.