Dav is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical cat.

Dav created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dav, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dav, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dav's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Dav's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Do not prepare lemons while filled with fear.

4. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Dav on top of all buildings.