Dabflapstan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, two-faced guinea pig.

Dabflapstan created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabflapstan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dabflapstan, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dabflapstan's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dabflapstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never sit in the presence of ducks.

5. Do not travel during winter.