Tettihivbad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring snake.

Tettihivbad created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tettihivbad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tettihivbad, she will have a low opinion of you.

Tettihivbad's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tettihivbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not prepare peanuts while filled with envy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near ducks while wearing cyan coats and balancing eight tin spheres on your legs.