Linhapmitflamflowfat is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, passionate hyena.

Linhapmitflamflowfat created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linhapmitflamflowfat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Linhapmitflamflowfat, it will turn you into a hamster.

Linhapmitflamflowfat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Linhapmitflamflowfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

3. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not make images of living things.