Pitkenmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, grumpy pigeon.

Pitkenmeg created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitkenmeg, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitkenmeg, she will turn you into a mole.

Pitkenmeg's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Pitkenmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pitkenmeg.