Yiknakvogwadjoplitfossdog is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unthinking cow.

Yiknakvogwadjoplitfossdog created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yiknakvogwadjoplitfossdog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yiknakvogwadjoplitfossdog, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yiknakvogwadjoplitfossdog's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Yiknakvogwadjoplitfossdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Do not keep four doves in a large pit.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Do not cook food in pots.