Besstonjap is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome human.

Besstonjap created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Besstonjap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Besstonjap, she will refuse to believe in you.

Besstonjap's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Besstonjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix limes with ash.

2. Never stain your neck with black.

3. Never touch oil while unclean.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

5. Never feed lemons to dogs while wearing boots.