Gumrendib is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, calm scorpion.

Gumrendib created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumrendib, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gumrendib, she will turn you into a snail.

Gumrendib's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gumrendib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near mites while wearing pink skirts and balancing three silicon spheres on your back.

2. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

3. Never hurt grasshopers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.