Ditkargonbad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, loving lobster.

Ditkargonbad created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditkargonbad, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ditkargonbad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Ditkargonbad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ditkargonbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

2. Remain bowed during prayer.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never proclaim while facing north.