Stanlagtararn is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, awesome mink.

Stanlagtararn created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stanlagtararn, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stanlagtararn, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Stanlagtararn's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Stanlagtararn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Erect three iron sculptures of Stanlagtararn on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Always look after injured rats.