Bemtofcun is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered coyote.

Bemtofcun created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bemtofcun, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bemtofcun, he will send you a sign.

Bemtofcun's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bemtofcun's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Never travel toward the south during spring.

3. Do not resist fate.

4. Always share nuts with strangers, but never with sharks.

5. Never cross mountains at dawn.