Mobcanmat is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome deer.

Mobcanmat created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobcanmat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mobcanmat, he will curse you with boils.

Mobcanmat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Mobcanmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

3. Never fashion tools from ash.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never adorn your chest with yellow markings.