Futbunbam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered toad.

Futbunbam created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futbunbam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Futbunbam, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Futbunbam's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Futbunbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in spring.

2. Never mix wheat with oil.

3. Always help swans.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Always take life seriously.