Tabjancab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, awesome finch.

Tabjancab created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabjancab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tabjancab, he will not care at all.

Tabjancab's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tabjancab's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your chest toward the south during prayer.

2. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never fashion tools from stone.