Gunpinbass is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, boastful pig.

Gunpinbass created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunpinbass, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gunpinbass, it will turn you into a slug.

Gunpinbass' most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gunpinbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Never adorn your arms with indigo markings.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.