Yarcepmitnurlpom is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, smart zebra.

Yarcepmitnurlpom created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarcepmitnurlpom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yarcepmitnurlpom, he will boil you in a big pot.

Yarcepmitnurlpom's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Yarcepmitnurlpom's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Always remove coats before touching copper.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.