Jondinpopdibmutflatcid is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, strong monkey.

Jondinpopdibmutflatcid created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jondinpopdibmutflatcid, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jondinpopdibmutflatcid, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Jondinpopdibmutflatcid's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Jondinpopdibmutflatcid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never paint your chest brown.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Put Jondinpopdibmutflatcid first in all things.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Jondinpopdibmutflatcid in the centre of the settlement.