Wapganbagcidmapnanvagdit Betsinsas is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, all-knowing goose.

Wapganbagcidmapnanvagdit Betsinsas created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapganbagcidmapnanvagdit Betsinsas, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wapganbagcidmapnanvagdit Betsinsas, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wapganbagcidmapnanvagdit Betsinsas' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Wapganbagcidmapnanvagdit Betsinsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near grasshopers while wearing cyan hats and balancing six zinc spheres on your chest.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.