Cibhancetzenstikbudjophap is a god.

It takes the form of a small, happy jellyfish.

Cibhancetzenstikbudjophap created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Cibhancetzenstikbudjophap, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cibhancetzenstikbudjophap, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cibhancetzenstikbudjophap's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Cibhancetzenstikbudjophap's Holy Commandments

1. Cibhancetzenstikbudjophap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Retreat if eight nematodes approach from the north.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not resist balance.