Bassjigquatkan Lagyaklarg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart seal.

Bassjigquatkan Lagyaklarg created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bassjigquatkan Lagyaklarg, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bassjigquatkan Lagyaklarg, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bassjigquatkan Lagyaklarg's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bassjigquatkan Lagyaklarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

5. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.