Dibvonktoncad is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, calm hamster.

Dibvonktoncad created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibvonktoncad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dibvonktoncad, it will turn you into a mole.

Dibvonktoncad's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Dibvonktoncad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.